Today is not the way to start off the week. Friday was really bad day at work. I found myself crying so hard that it was hard to walk out of the building. I sat in my car just crying. Saturday, Amy and I just fought and cried and cried. Sunday let the games begin of fighting more... then madeup. On her end anyways, I am still holding onto it all. Is this worth the long distance relationship or not? Am I really so much in love with her that I'll wait to see what next spring brings? I feel like I am single still. Just wondering what's going to happen. How my life is going to take shape. Amy says that she doesn't meet my standards. Maybe that is true and I don't try to think about it or deal with the differets in what I want out of a relationship. How can I really be in a relationship with her being so far away. Yeah I love her, but do I love her enough to make this work? She keeps on saying it's in my court that it's up to me. How can I even play the game when I just want to be a cheerleader on the sides?!! I'm not feeling that cloud nine much as more with her. I love about her, but is it enough? My heart is falling apart inside, but the pieces are being pick up and put together by someone else. How could it really be love if other things are happening to me feel so unbelibeable high on cloud nine. ?? Where I don't want it to end... I want it to grow. Can I have my cake and eat it too?

Current Mood: confused

I am starting this live journal to be something that I wouldn't want to write on my blogger. To feel free to write anything and not to worry about whos going to see it and what they are going to say.